Sickness is invading. Craptastic.

My little one has been snotty all weekend and was running a low temp Saturday night before bed. He refuses most medicines, no matter what form, so it’s always fun and bath-requiring tp administer liquid meds. (I exaggerate a little – we’ve got it down to a science now with two of us tag-teaming him, but if it’s just one of us then it’s gonna get messy. And frustrating). 
First, though, the good of the weekend:
I had a great day on Saturday. I dropped my oldest off to stay the night with a cousin, and then picked up a girlfriend to go to an afternoon get-together at another friend’s house. I had a yummy skinny-girl margarita (does that mean I’m skinny? No? Darn.) at the party and hung out with four other women. Fun. Then we did a little shopping and went to a pub for dinner, just my friend and I. Later when I got home I hung out with the little snuffily man that evening and then watched a movie (Inception) with the hubby when he got done with his work for the day. (He works freelance and it’s definitely not an 8-5, M-F gig).
The bad:
We were supposed to go to a birthday party at my in-law’s house on Sunday but little snuffily man was too snuffily and I was afraid of getting the other kiddos sick so I stayed home with him and sent the hubby without me. That’s not so bad. But I was unmotivated to do laundry, clean the kitchen, or otherwise work on any meaningful project at my house. I just lounged on the sofa snuggling with the little guy and we watched a Disney movie together. Again – not so bad, but I feel guilty for not being more motivated. 
I also feel guilty for neglecting the blog these past few days. Apologies. 
(Side note: I don’t know why I always feel such enormous amounts of guilt. It’s built into my very nature and no matter what I do I can’t get rid of it. Ugh. I’m not even Catholic!)
Now the worst: 
We just found out that the cousin our oldest stayed the night with on Saturday went to urgent care on Sunday evening and tested positive for strep. Fan-effing-tastic.
Now I have started to feel run down. My skin feels hot and tingly. Maybe it’s the power of suggestion. Maybe it’s hanging out with snuffily man all weekend.
On the bright side – I did do a load of dishes and two loads of laundry. I made lasagna for dinner and some chocolate chip cookies too. I also beat Plants vs. Zombies again. Oh, wait, that’s counter-productive to the other items on the list, isn’t it? Oh well. Everything in moderation, right? Balance work with fun and all that. 
I do have some blog thoughts percolating but none have really sunk in and grabbed hold yet. It’s coming, I promise. 

Thank you for letting me spew, my dear friends. Apologies. Pray, chant, light a candle, whatever, that Strep doesn’t invade my house. Please and thank you.

I want to be alone

Sometimes. It’s nice. And now I know I have a good reason for it.
I follow The Frisky on Facebook (warning: some of their posts can be R-rated) and today they posted about the power of being ALONE. I read the post today and I was like, yeah, right on!! This just feeds everything I’ve been saying for months – a room of one’s own, time to think, time to focus and be introspective. This is all so important for our mental well-being – and now there’s a study backing up that theory. (Not that it was my theory – just the natural progression of my personal evolution). 
In an effort to reduce all this clicking, here’s the full text of that post:

When I was 13, I started locking myself in my lair and writing angsty poetry, which caused people (especially my parents) to assume that I was a lonely, depressed, misanthropic hermit. As it turns out, I was spending some very necessary and healthy time alone. A new study at Harvard University found that spending time alone is crucial for us to have fully-developed personalities. Sufficient quality time with numero uno has been linked to improved focus, memory, creativity, mood, and even better social skills when we finally emerge from our caves.

Why? Because other people take up a lot of space in our minds. Not only that, but they cloud our judgement. Being alone helps us engage in the process of high-level reflection and introspection. It helps us figure out what we really think about stuff. Double the need for solitude if you are highly creative, a prophet like Jesus, or a genius like Beethoven (or fancy yourself a writer). Anyone? Anyone?

Anyhow, I’m sold. Always have been. So what’s the problem? We have cultural stigma about solitude. A study done a few years back at the University of Massachusetts found that people actually feel good, more often than not, when they’re alone. But somehow, somewhere, solitude and loneliness became synonymous. Especially for teens who researchers found tend to sequester themselves when they feel crappy but emerge from isolation feeling slightly less crappy. Yeah, adolescence is tough. I guess that explains why my mom was always knocking on my door telling me to come out. If only I could have said to her, “I am forming my personality through meta-cognition” instead of shouting, “Go away!” and turning up Simon and Garfunkel’s “I Am A Rock.”

The post was inspired by an article in the Boston Globe, here. Warning – it’s long. Check out this quote from the article: 

Solitude has long been linked with creativity, spirituality, and intellectual might. The leaders of the world’s great religions — Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses — all had crucial revelations during periods of solitude. The poet James Russell Lowell identified solitude as “needful to the imagination;” in the 1988 book “Solitude: A Return to the Self,” the British psychiatrist Anthony Storr invoked Beethoven, Kafka, and Newton as examples of solitary genius.

And there’s this little gem as well:

Teenagers, especially, whose personalities have not yet fully formed, have been shown to benefit from time spent apart from others, in part because it allows for a kind of introspection — and freedom from self-consciousness — that strengthens their sense of identity.

Hell yeah! I’m behind this 100%! I’m no expert, but I can only imagine that teenage minds are still forming the abilities to inductively and deductively reason. The more opportunity they get to exercise their minds naturally can only be a good thing, IMHO.

Anatomy of a snap-happy Sunday

Bless him, the hubby let me sleep in. Then, when he was so hungry he couldn’t wait anymore, he crawled into bed with me and said he had already cooked the potatoes and could I please get my lazy arse out of bed and make him a scramble? Fine, fine! 
I got up and staggered my bones to the kitchen and began cooking. In the same pan as the cut up and sauteed potatoes, I added diced ham, aromatics (onion & garlic), and let it all combine on medium low heat. Then whisked 5 eggs, a diced scallion, and salt & pepper in a separate bowl. I added the egg mixture in and stirred a few times to scramble all together. Then turned the burner off, put some cheese on top and put the lid on to let the cheese melt. It was YUM. Plus I had enough leftover to make 6 breakfast burritos for us next week. Total score.
We sat down to eat breakfast and decided to flip on the Netflix and watch the 1st episode of Doctor Who (since it was restarted in 2005). It’s been highly recommended from our friend, Britt. But I think the jury is still out with me and the hubs. We’ll have to watch a few more before we decide. 
Then we started our day in earnest. I sent the kids to take out the recycling and play. Lo and behold they decided to do work:
Took out the recycling
Swept out the laundry room . . .
. . . and continued in the garage
The hubby continued working on my oldest’s invention for his Invention Convention – due this week at school:
the Pull & Dress – more on this later
Bob was doing his thing:
Russian Tortoise. Bob.
So I lit some candles:
A gift for Valentine’s Day from the hubby
and began snapping some pics of a few of my favorite things:
My fancy Jane Austen books – a gift many, many years ago
Willow Tree people – gifts from my family
My grandmother-in-law gave this egg cup to me from her collection. I love it dearly!
I’m thinking of making something now. Something a little sweet and possibly a little savory as well. Hmmm . . .

Great Expectations

Okay, I’m going to attempt to put together a cohesive narrative from some of the thoughts that have been floating willy-nilly in my head since reading Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert. I finished the book a few days ago and, as promised, I have started going back, re-reading, and highlighting those passages that particularly resonate with me.
That Elizabeth Gilbert chick knows what she’s doing. Out of the gate the first concept she writes about is something that likely resonates with all married women – did I make the right decision? And not just about marriage, but about everything. Do my expectations of love & marriage and my current reality gel with what I thought they would be? Once upon a time each one of us made a decision that altered our life path. In order to make a decision of that momentousness we also generally produce a set of expectations – the future effects of that decision.
But first there’s the decision. We are so overwhelmed with choices now that, as she writes, “many of us simply go limp from indecision.” I have certainly felt that way. Too many options. When I’m asking my hubby what he wants for dinner, or what kind of something he wants and I say you can have this, or this, or this, or this, or this – he interrupts with, “Too many options. Narrow it down for me.” Because confronted with so many options how can we possibly know which one of them will add to our lives – make us healthier, wealthier and wiser? 
Once we do make a decision do we then run the risk of becoming “compulsive comparers?” As Liz says (because she and I are so tight now I call her Liz) compulsive comparers are “always measuring [their] lives against some other person’s life, secretly wondering if [they] should have taken [their] path instead.”

LIFE ENVY.

I’m guilty of it, as you read here. My blogging inspiration, and the object of my “life envy,” Joni, wrote that she was guilty of it as well here when she looks at the Pioneer Woman. If you are a woman who has never experienced life envy then I want to meet you because you’ll be the first (that I know of).

I’m going to re-create the following passage word for word because I think it’s huge:

All these choices and all this longing can create a weird kind of haunting in our lives – as though the ghosts of all our other, unchosen, possibilities linger forever in a shadow world around us, continuously asking, “Are you certain this is what you really wanted?”

Oh boy. That’s it. How do we look at our lives today and be content?
I’m 35. I’m married to a man who isn’t perfect but I love him anyway. I have a job that is far from perfect, and especially aggravating of late, but it’s my means for supporting my family. I have two children who are also imperfect – but they are MINE, and a part of me, and that’s the important part. I stand here today with this imperfect life and I could so easily wallow in despair for other choices I could have made – but there are no guarantees in life, you know? I could own a house on the hill, wear expensive jewelry, drive a sports car, etc, and still be absolutely miserable. You get out of life what you put into it. 
Let me say that again: YOU GET OUT OF LIFE WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT.
If you are discontented and unhappy then you are likely going to get discontent and unhappiness in return. But if you take all your expectations and filter them through your present reality then you just might find you have exactly what you didn’t know you wanted. 
I have a happy, loving home. I have a husband who strives to be the best he can be, who loves me, and who makes me laugh. I have two gorgeous and talented children who melt my heart every night when they choose to share my spot on the sofa with me rather than sit – anywhere – else (and we have a large sofa). 
It’s all about perception – not perfection. All the other stuff – the bills, the grocery shopping, the late homework – that’s just the minor aggravations that life gives us to keep us humble. 
Now, I’m going to close this missive so I can go enjoy a perfect evening with my imperfect family. 

Blessings!

Friday Night Q&A

In the immortal words of Hammerstein:

Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me.

Okay, now that that ear worm is firmly embedded in your brain, let’s move on to the Q&A/getting to know you section of our blog today. (Ours, today, because I would like your participation. Yes, YOU).
I’m pretty sure only about 3 people are reading my blog but let’s play a game and find out. I’ll answer some questions (completely random and made up by yours truly) and you answer them back to me in a comment, okay?
Here we go:
Q. What’s that one song that, no matter what, always stays in your top 5 favorites?
A. I love music. I do. I’m not one to pro-actively go hunt down new music and what I listen to is far from esoteric. To me, it’s all about the emotion the music provokes; it could be because that’s the song I danced to in 8th grade at the Y dances while getting my heart broken by my first crush (Love Bites by Def Leppard), or something newer that tugs at the heart strings (almost anything by Adele). So – since 7th grade I have LOVED Just Like Heaven by The Cure. Even when I went through my country music phase.
Confession: I even thought Robert Smith was hot once upon a time.

Newsflash: he’s not.

Q. Think back to your life and identify a crossroads, a decision you made that altered the course of your life. If you had chosen the other path what would it have been?

A. The thing about crossroad-decisions is they are so impactful that it’s hard to separate the decision from the effects that followed. Often one path isn’t particularly better than the other – just different. For me, right around the time I got engaged to my husband I had been applying to a semester abroad program. I chose marriage, and then a job, and a family followed shortly after. If I went on the semester abroad program I likely would not have married my husband, I would not have my babies, and I would be in a very different place now. I have no idea if it would be better or not – I certainly would have had different experiences. But I also wouldn’t have these cheese-monsters so how in the world can I argue with that??
Q. What do you typically do on a Friday night?

A. Friday nights are usually family nights at our house. Tonight, however, the hubby is out with friends, the kids are in bed (now – after a long Plants vs. Zombies game they needed my help with. They *asked* for help. I swear.), and these are my companions:
Some people may think this is sad. I, on the other hand, can’t tell you how peaceful my house is right now or how nicely the wine is going down. Silence. Sip. Ahhh. 

(In case you were worried that I ate the whole box of cookies I must tell you that I put the cookies away just after I took this picture. Scout’s honor. The wine I kept out just a teensy bit longer.)

G’night!