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Spring Project Cleaning

It’s supposed to be 70 this weekend and that means Spring. 
Birds chirping, tulips coming up, trees budding and grass growing. It also means we can send the kids outside. A LOT. Good stuff.
It also means allergies. Bad stuff.
Good & bad? Spring Cleaning.

I hate cleaning. Really. HATE. But it’s time. And I LOVE when it’s done.

I have two modes of cleaning:
1. Blitz cleaning. This is the cleaning you do really quickly to make it all look presentable when you are having company. My husband and I can do this for about an hour before company and everything looks spic & span – just don’t look at the tops of the bookshelves, or under the sofa. 
When our boys catch us cleaning they say, “who’s coming over?” I then point out to them that SOMETIMES we clean things for other purposes – like if something is so disgustingly filthy I can’t stand the sight of it anymore. (This excludes the normal, day-to-day (that I also hate) like doing dishes, laundry, wiping counters, etc).
2. Project cleaning. PITA Spring Cleaning. This is when you take on a big project that requires cleaning out certain areas of the house in order to complete the project. I do this because it FORCES me to deep clean and it provides a new, fresh look to the room. Often this involves moving furniture, taking down decor, cleaning it and putting it back up, cleaning windows, window coverings, etc. 
(Side note: I used to move the living room furniture every few months whenever I got a wild hair and needed a change. Then we got a gigantic freaking sectional and that was that. The hubby is quite pleased about it as he is change-avoidant).
I just bought the cutest butterfly thingies I want to put up on the walls in my home office. But first I need to clean a corner of that room so I can get to the wall I want to put the butterflies on – which is buried behind a sofa covered with blankets, jackets, and even some Christmas wrap. (Yep, Christmas wrap I got AFTER I put Christmas away so it needs to find a home until next year because I’m not going up to the attic again).
See? Butterflies. They will look nice on my green office wall.
Or, another example, I hate dusting my bedroom, especially the areas I don’t easily hit like the ceiling fans or the tops of the curtains or the blinds that have been mostly closed all winter. This bedroom re-do project I’m currently working on will now force me to clean every.stinkin’.corner. of that room. It will feel so fresh and new when it’s done. I cannot wait. Plus, hello, PAINT. What better way to deep clean?
Now that Spring Cleaning (capitalized because it is a formal thing, no?) is starting to happen I will be undertaking many small projects. Sunlight is coming into our rooms from different angles now and I can totally see where I need to take some shades down and give them a thorough cleaning and I can see the cobwebs gathering in the dark, vaulted corners of the room. 
Incidentally, I wish I had a good method for cleaning those tall corners other than me, a rickety ladder & a broom. One of these days I AM going to fall on my ass and it’s going to hurt. You all will have a good laugh when I tell you about it. 

So – as your weather warms up just turn the music on, open the windows, and get to work. Put the kids to work too. Bribe ’em if you have to.

Happy cleaning, peeps. It will be SO worth it.

Posted on by Wise Sass · 3 Comments

Lessons in moderation

I’m a better mom on the weekends.

This is me during the week, every day, Monday-Friday:
Wake up, stumble to the shower, dress, make-up, help the kids dress and brush things, and then run out the door with seconds to spare. Take one kid to school while the hubby takes the other to a different school.
Go to work and work, work, work. Maybe get lunch. Maybe not. 
Leave work at 6 or 6:30 or 7. Sometimes go to appointments after work. Then rush home because the hubby has to be somewhere at 7ish a few days a week. 
Make dinner. Do dishes. Maybe do laundry. Maybe play a game of Plants vs. Zombies with the boys (well, I’m being honest. don’t worry, homework is done already). 
Coax my little one to do the needful (drop a bomb, if you get my drift) and get a bath (because he’s Autistic and in his mind one must follow the other or there will be tears). 

Then jammies, and teeth brushing and bed around 9 or 9:30. (Where they will lay for another hour or two before falling asleep. Why? Because they are MY kids).

The hubby and I may sit down and watch something together (thank goodness for Tivo) or we may both do work. I’ll do my job-related work or pay bills or I try to blog. Then I fall into bed semi-comatose at midnight or 1 am.

Aaaannnnddddd repeat.

It’s the weekends that I can look at my sons and really think, “What do I want them to learn from me this weekend?” They see me work all week long, and that’s one lesson right there, but what can I impart to them on the weekends?

And I don’t mean the difference between an adjective or pro-noun, or how to work through their multiplication chart. 
I mean what can I do to be a positive example to them? So they understand how to live when they are adults. Respect, charity, industriousness, etc. The stuff that only parents can teach, you know, by example. 

Somebody once said, “If one oversteps the bounds of moderation, the greatest pleasures cease to please.”

Work ethic is important. It’s huge. But I firmly believe in living a life of moderation. In raising my kids I want them to learn from me that work is good – not only does it provide for more practical needs, but it also feeds the mind and helps individuals to grow and become better, more well-rounded people.
Conversely, I want my boys to know that playing and down-time and just plain, ole FUN and laughter is good too. To be successful at work a person needs to learn the virtues of the R’s – restart, refuel, reload, reboot & relax.
Sometimes, like this morning, the best lesson I can teach them is just to turn the music up and have a dance party. Right there in the living room. 
Laughter? Check. 
Exercise? Check.

Inhibitions? Gone.

My kids thinking I’m the coolest mom ever? CHECK. 
Collapsing on the sofa.
We’ll get to the laundry . . . later. They will help, they are good at that. (Industriousness, respect? Check, check).

If all we did was have dance parties then they wouldn’t be so special. 

Moderation, yo. It’s important.

Posted on by Wise Sass · 1 Comment

Family Flashback Friday

In conjunction with my sisters post last night, here’s a family themed Flashback Friday:
From left to right, that’s my brother, my mom & dad, me holding my nephew, my sister holding my niece and my brother-in-law. I think this was when I was in 8th grade. I loved those white pants! They had zipper pockets just above the pleated front. Eeek. Go 80’s fashion.
This was back when our family was fairly normal. Or so I thought. My brother & sister were from my dad’s first marriage and I was from my mom’s first marriage – but then dad adopted me as a baby so he’s the only dad I know. Because I was a baby when this family “merged” it was a long time before I realized that we actually were a combined family. 

I was only 7 when my sister got married so my brother-in-law has almost always been my brother-in-law, you know? (Except now they are divorced, after 27 years of marriage, and he’s set up housekeeping (antiquated terminology – love it) with my cousin on my mom’s side. That’s another story for another day. At least he’s still in the family.)

Happy Friday, my friends.

Posted on by Wise Sass

Why isn’t it Friday?

I have seriously lived a week in 2 days. Now, I consciously know that it isn’t Friday yet, but I just feel it should be considering everything that’s gone on the last few days. But then I thought, “At least it’s Wednesday. Only 2 more days.” Dude, it’s Tuesday. TUESDAY. 3 more days. 3. 
See, the problem is my work. It’s different this week and that throws me off. We have 2 clients visiting. One from Brasil (as he tells me to spell it) and the other from Argentina. The one from Argentina doesn’t speak great English and, I think, understands even less. Fun. The one from Brasil speaks Portuguese, English fairly well (except for the occasional, “uh, uh, how you say _____”), and some Spanish. Today I spent 6 hours talking. Like non-stop. Tomorrow we have another half day, at least, with them. 
The thing is, it’s just constantly being with them, entertaining, socializing, being positive and blah, blah, blah. My people bucket gets too full. We spent hours out to dinner last night. Tonight I had to go to a school function for Bubba. My people bucket has runneth-the-hell-over.
Buenos noches amigos. Hasta mañana!

Posted on by Wise Sass · 4 Comments

Bedroom Project Update #1

First, a mea culpa to my mom (though she doesn’t read the blog – I need to put it out there). 
Wait, before that even – there’s an explanation: In the process of doing the bedroom project it was important for me to CLEAN OUT MY CLOSET. Apologies for shouting, but I’m trying to pound it into my own head. It’s been needed for quite a while. In fact, I bought a red storage tote – last year – just for the purpose of keeping the clothes I couldn’t part with when I cleaned the closet. The tote has worked well as a surface for me to pile clothes on – until today.
You see, I have a problem with clothes. I don’t like to let them go. My weight fluctuates so much that I can justify it, usually. And I don’t give two rips about what’s stylish at any given point in time; I just try to wear what I like and whatever I think looks good on me. I have so many clothes that, most of the time, I don’t wear what’s hanging in my closet. Most of the clothes I wear on a daily basis are stored elsewhere: folded on top of my dresser, in a pile to be hung (but never actually gets hung up), or draped over the armchair in our bedroom. It’s stupid, I know. I can own it.
Which brings us back to CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET. So that it can actually be useful, dammit. I started today – see:
There’s the red tote of clothes to keep. Alma mater t-shirt and my great grandmother’s sweater right on top. Behind the tote is a bag of clothes to donate.
Okay, back to the mea culpa. When I got to the very, very, very back of my closet I discovered some bagged hangers. When I pulled them out, I found these:
Prom/Formal dresses
In my very last post I accused my mom of having a faulty memory and doing something with the black & white dress (my favorite). I honestly thought she had given it away. Sorry mom!! I do have some others that are missing and I’m sure those were donated – but these were my favorites and I’m so happy I still have them. Sizes 5/6.

(Yeah, I’m totally jealous of my 16/17 year old self at the moment.  I think my right boob would still fit in one of those dresses. And maybe one thigh. (Ugh, that was almost 20 years and 2 kids ago so why does it bother me? It’s ridiculous. Of COURSE I was smaller then. Duh. Shaking it off. Moving on))

Back to to the bedroom project update. 
I went shopping last night at Home Goods and picked out two completely different bedding sets. One was a Ralph Lauren comforter set that was cream with roses and was somewhat shabby chic. The hubby approved, surprisingly. The other was a red tone-on-tone striped sateen duvet cover set. The hubby rejoiced. It was also $60 cheaper so the Ralph Lauren went back to the store today. I washed the new red bedding this morning and threw it on the bed with our favorite high-thread count cream sheets: 
Sham, look familiar?
But, with such a plain bedding choice I was left trying to figure out what colors to pair with it in the room. I also needed to pick a wall color and some decor. Luckily the lamps I have in the room already have red shades so we’re all set there. 
I had a gift card for Target and decided to look for curtains there. I found a striped set that will work, and they helped me to set the color palette for the room. Then I hit a few thrift stores and found a fabulous shiny pleated bedskirt that matches the curtains. (I will not buy bedding at thrift stores (eww factor) – but I figure a bedskirt is okay. I washed it 2 seconds after I got home). I had already picked up the wall art/shadowboxes at Home Goods as well:
You can’t tell, but the big greenish stripe is actually a different color than the small greenish stripe.
So, the color palette is red, a goldish taupe, green, & cream.We’re going to paint the walls cream. I’m considering an accent wall in a deeper color. We’ll see.

All in all, it’s going well. I’ve spent under $80 for everything. Next steps are: 1. finish cleaning out the room, 2. buy the paint & then actually paint (big job! it’s a good-sized room), and 3. figure out some additional shelving/storage options for the room. My thrift store shopping today was unsuccessful in that department.

G’night!

Posted on by Wise Sass · 2 Comments

Flashback Friday & stuff

I’m on the right, and my long, long-time friend, Sham, is on the left. Winter Formal 1992. I cropped out the boys. They don’t matter so much. 
We had FUNNNNNN that night. More fun than we should have legally had at that age. (Literally).
I loved that dress. L.O.V.E.D. I miss it. There’s a dispute over what happened to it. I think I left it in my mom’s care, while she’s sure I had it. Hmmm. Whatev – letting it go. (See? No Negative Nelly here).

Can I just point out how prominently my collar bone is standing out? I mean, I thought I was fat then. For reals. (Which is my phrase of the day. For reals.)

In other news: I have a PROJECT. I have officially decided to strip my bedroom to bare bones, paint, and re-flippin’-do the whole room. Which has never officially been “done” because we always intended to “do” it and, guess what, it’s been 5 years. I will be shopping for inspiration this weekend. I need to choose some bedding to get a color scheme going. Stay tuned. 

Posted on by Wise Sass · 4 Comments

All Hail Glee!

The Glee gay-shippers got their glee on last night when Kurt finally got his first romantic kiss with a boy. I heart Kurt & Blaine. 
(Even though I can’t hear the name Blaine without thinking of that line from Pretty in Pink when Duckie says, “His name is Blaine? That’s a major appliance not a name!” I digress. Often. Moving on.)
Okay, so why is this a big deal to me?

Because I think everyone should be able to fall in love with whoever they happen to fall in love with – and I don’t think society can regulate that.

Because previously when there have been guy/guy kisses on the major networks it’s been a BIG DEAL. Like, alert the media and make sure all those that might be offended are warned far in advance so they can avoid it and not be slapped in the face by a *gasp* guy/guy kiss. Oh, the horror.

Because when I watched Brokeback Mountain I saw a sad, sad  love story – not a controversial role for two straight actors.

Last night was like that for me. I had no idea Blaine & Kurt were going to go there on the show last night. And it was done so wonderfully, and in the course of the story and in the fullness of time – that is, a natural arc to that storyline. Not gratuitously. Not for ratings. Not to make a spectacle or prove a point. It was done with forethought, and romance, and it was natural. 
The fact that I’m not bombarded by it in the entertainment news today is significant. I think that bodes well for acceptance of same-sex relationships, and smooching, on tv and, hopefully, same-sex marriage in real life, everywhere, as well.

They held hands. They acted couple-y. When I saw Kurt’s face after the kiss I may even have had a tear well up. Kurt & Blaine forever!(Or, you know, the rest of the season).

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Wordless Wednesday? Not quite.

Today started out rainy. Rain, rain, rain. 
At 1:30ish I ran out – in the rain – to get a quick bite for lunch before a meeting. I noticed then that the rain was what the weather people like to call a “wintry mix”. There was substance to the rain drops.
Back at my desk I scarfed down my lunch and got on my conference call. A little while later I looked out the window in my office and saw this:
This was taken through a window with my cell phone. Adjust expectations accordingly.
See that? That’s snow. On the ground. Coming down. It’s March, people. 
So then I had to talk on my call and I was distracted for a bit. When I turned around and looked out the window again there were big, white, fluffy flakes coming down! As soon as I hung up I went outside and took this pic:
You can see from the sidewalk that it’s *mostly* too warm to stick.

Holy snow in March, Batman!

Posted on by Wise Sass · 4 Comments

The best you that you can be

Every day when I drop my oldest at school I tell him, “Remember, be the best Poohbear you can be today, ok?”

To his credit he doesn’t sigh or roll his eyes (maybe 8 (almost 9) is too young for that), but he says, “Okay Mom! Love you!” and bounds out of the car with nary another thought for me or the message I’m trying to impart.

As I drive away, I often think about all the good things I want for him (to be honest, I often think of Starbucks and how conveniently located it is to his school as well).

What does that mean – be the best you that you can be? Let’s think about that for a minute.

Does it mean to be kind, understanding and attentive to others? Yes, obviously.

Does it mean to listen and learn and be present (in all senses of the word) to what happens during the course of the day? Yes, absolutely.

That’s what I want for him – my clever, cute, quirky son.

If I turn that around and put the focus on myself – what does that mean for me? My expectations for myself extend far beyond the expectations I have for my son.

Am I being the best Stef – mom, wife, woman – that I can be? The answer is a resounding NO.

These are the steps I think I need to take to get there. Bear in mind this list may be revised. Often.

  1. Health. I need to work on my health. I don’t know if I am brave enough to go into more detail than that, here – yet – but I need the strength, the confidence, the determination, support and encouragement to do it. Please. I’m starting already – baby steps.
  2. Outlook. Positivity. Glass half full-ness. Looking on the bright side. Finding the silver lining. Because, when it comes down to it, does bitching about something help? At all? The negativity weighs me down and I’m not having it anymore. Dunzo.
  3. Self-awareness and positive personal growth. Focusing on the me-ness. Really knowing who I am – what makes me tick, sets me off, calms me down, etc. What I excel at and what I suck at. Then embracing the me-ness and the stuff I love about me. This blog is going a long way towards that goal.
  4. Love. Give it all, to everyone, in abundant boundless bundles. To my family, to my friends, to strangers. I don’t know anything, any situation, any problem – ANYTHING – that isn’t improved with a little love and a big, open heart.

So that’s it. For now. That’s my challenge to myself.

Tomorrow, when you check your face in the mirror – at home, driving to work, or in a passing car window reflection – just pause for a second and ask yourself, “Am I being the best me that I can be?” I hope the answer is yes; if not, make your own list and get on with it, sister!

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Sickness update

Youngest boy – home sick. Cough, snot – check. Not lethargic though but kept him home to be on the safe side. 
Oldest boy – not sick. Yet. What’s the incubation time for Strep? The hubby reports that he has a snotty attitude though, if that counts. He’s home on his 3 week track break so he’s happy as a clam. Except for the chores his dad is making him do – hence the ‘tude. What’s the darn incubation for Strep?
The hubby – good. He slept in since both boys are home and he appears to be quite chipper. He has one of those voices that you can instantly tell his mood as soon as he says hello. Or maybe *I* can – because I’m his wife and I know these things. When his voice is happy we’re all happy.
Me – achy, warm skin and really feeling the need to lay down. But I’m at work. Laying down is frowned upon. (Writing in my blog at work is probably frowned upon too – but I’m not asking. Moving on.) 3rd of 3 meetings today in 45 minutes. Heating up my lunch shortly, then the meeting (which will be all sorts of fun – NOT), then going to the Chiropractor. I may or may not return to work. Let’s hope not.

There’s the sickness update. I knew you were waiting for it.