Posted on by Wise Sass · 5 Comments

A half-baked idea is okay as long as it’s in the oven.

Do I shirk my duties and dive into the blog thoughts swirling around in my head? I could literally write volumes right now if given the proper time and space to sit and think it all through. 
Alas, that’s not even an option! Too much freakin’ work.
I got home from my trip very late on Friday night, or extremely early Saturday morning – depending on your point of view. I was delayed an extra 6 hours in the Denver airport after sprinting to my gate only to find out I missed my connection. Also, I DON’T SPRINT. I don’t even jog. Seriously. I think I almost died. But then I had to spend 6 more hours there and I truly knew what death was.
Oh.My.Goodness.Was.I.Bored.
Spotty internet connection and limited charging capabilities meant I couldn’t stay online or watch a movie to bide the time. I read some but I was completely distracted. Too many people hustling and bustling all over the place.
Saturday morning I woke up stiff and sore. I sort of decided then and there to take the rest of the weekend off. We celebrated the hubby’s 41 years young, I hung out with the boys and caught up on some of my Tivo’d stuff. 
Back to the grind today and, wow, do I have a lot to do. Plus, at home, there’s so much kid STUFF to deal with – Invention Convention, dentist appointments, IEP appointments, Katie Beckett Applications, laundry, lunch money, etc. I feel like I might never come up for air.
When I do, indeed, come up for air then I hope to put together some great blog posts around what I’ve been reading. I’m absolutely loving Elizabeth Gilbert’s Committed. I seriously want to take a highlighter and go back through and mark all the poignant passages. In fact, I think I may do just that.
If you are married you should read this book. If you are thinking about getting married you should read this book. If you are divorced you should read this book. If you at any point in your life plan to live in a committed relationship you should read this book. No lie. 
The thing is – it’s all the stuff we learn after 10-15 years of marriage. It’s the distance and experience. The plain ‘ole knowledge we don’t have when we are all in L.O.V.E. and dying to get married RIGHT.THIS.MINUTE. 
It’s the things our mothers (some of them) or our grandmothers (a lot of them) went through and thought about and dealt with without actually giving it a name. They just lived it. Sucked it up and dealt with it. It’s the angst wives go through – the sacrifices, challenges, juggling we all do and learn to deal with some way, some how. It’s all about finding that happy medium for us “modern” wives.

More to come.

Posted on by Wise Sass · 1 Comment

Stef’s Random Thoughts

  • Dude, it totally snowed yesterday! Finally. We haven’t had snow since the first week of December – even when the rest of the U.S. was snowed in. Just enough on the ground this morning to make everything look a little prettier, a little brighter, and enough to make the commute interesting. 
  • I am actively making an effort to leave the office by 6 pm every night. I did last night, and was rewarded with this gorgeous sunset on the snowy foothills:
 
  • Last night I finally sat down and filled out the 15 page assessment called a SIB-R (Scales of Independent Behavior-Revised) for Jamie. The purpose of the SIB-R is to assess adaptive and maladaptive behavior to determine need for assistance. The school psychologist will provide his own assessment and, from those and the diagnoses we have received from doctors, we will officially change Jamie’s status from developmentally delayed to Autistic & ADHD. This could potentially change the amount of resources he receives from the school district, and it has an influence on his ability to be included in various other state & federal programs for “disabled” kids. (I hate that label). The challenge for these types of assessments is to grade your own child as bad as you possibly can. Don’t give them the benefit of the doubt that they can do something on their own. If you think they may struggle doing something for themselves then you must grade them low. It goes against everything that we, as parents, hope for our children – they they CAN do things and that if they did it once they can do it again. It’s not fun to spend an hour thinking of your child in this derogatory context. 
  • On a more cheerful note – tonight I start packing for a trip! This trip will be good because I’m combining work AND pleasure. First, bright and early Saturday I’m flying to Boston to spend 3 nights with my BFF. We are spending the first night in Boston at a hotel and going out with friends. Woo-hoo! Then going to her house in New Hampshire until Tuesday morning when I fly down to Washington, D.C. My company has a office just outside of Washington that I travel to a couple times a year. While there I have plans to get together with two more friends and hang out with the co-workers at that office. Fun stuff! I’ll be exhausted on the flight home but it should be a busy & fun week.
  • The day after I get home is my husband’s birthday. What to do, what to do. I know I need to take him shopping for his gift (he has requested sunglasses) but I should think of something else. He likes a big to-do. Hmmm. I’ll probably make cake balls, at least.
  • Is it too early to start looking forward to our annual summer vacation in July??
Posted on by Wise Sass · 6 Comments

Pity party, table for 1

On Friday I was very happy to spend some time just being a mom, see my post here: My warring dualities. Then I took yesterday off and wrote a blog, had lunch with my hubby and picked up my kids from school again. The kids were happy, I was happy, and the hubby was happy. I thought about how much happier we all were and I’ve come to a decision.
I WANT TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM. 
(The louder I say it the more likely it will come true, right? One more time. )
I WANT TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM.
Or a work part-time from home mom. I’m happy to pick up a little income here and there as I can. 
I want to take care my my kids, my husband and my house. I want to get my home life in order. I want to have the time and energy to focus on just those things for a while. I need it. My family needs it. 
I would be a good SAHM. I would have a routine. Certain days I would clean house. Certain days I would do laundry. I would make time to exercise every day. I would turn the music up LOUD and not worry about anybody seeing me work out.
I would write on this blog more, and possibly write something else. I would pay bills, clean, clean, clean, and work on projects like the closets or washing all the windows. I would run all the errands I don’t have time to do now, and do the grocery shopping too.
I want to be there for my son EVERY TIME he needs me in class. Both of them, really, but in particular for my Autistic guy. When he has a bad start to his day I want the freedom to be there with him as long as he needs me. I want to pick him up from school so I get the low-down from his teachers every day. 
I would be an advocate for my son and for Autism education and support in my state. 
Every day after school I would talk to my boys. I would give them an after school snack, talk about their day with them, and get them started on homework. I would start dinner while we talk so that we can eat dinner early and get a walk before bath and bedtime.
Yes, I do know that to a certain extent I am idealizing being a stay at home mom, but I also know that whatever came up I would be able to deal with it. I’m a good multi-tasker and I can make adjustments on the fly. I know it’s a lot of work. I know it.
I’m gone from my house and family 10 hours a day and it’s not working for me right now. I need more of the kids in my daily life. I need more “me” in my daily life. I want to write. I want to be the best mom and person I can be. I need a change in my life – my career and my health demand it – and I think this could be it.
I WANT TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM. 

P.S. Now that I have made this decision if someone could please hire my husband at an exorbitant salary so that I can make my SAHM dreams come true I would be ever so grateful. 
Posted on by Wise Sass · 5 Comments

A Room of One’s Own

Virginia Woolf said:

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.

When we moved to our current house 5 years ago my boys were 2 & 3 years old. They shared a room, and still do, because I insisted that the other bedroom should be a guest room. I was convinced my family and friends from back home in California would come visit a lot. Well, my mom comes 2 or 3 times a year and occasionally our buddy Brittain stays so late he sleeps over. All in all not a lot of usage.

I have always had a workspace of my own, but my desk was tiny and it had been shuttled from room to room whenever I needed to make space for something else. First it was in the toy room/animal room/catch-all. Then a corner of the living room. Then our bedroom. I never had a space where I could really put my stuff out and let it just be. Then I got a docking station and laptop for work and sadly the contraption didn’t even fit on my tiny desk. Obviously something needed to change. 
Enter my husband. Sometimes he has the best ideas. As I was lamenting my lack of space he simply said, “why do we need a dedicated guest room? Let’s turn it into your office and just move the hide-a-bed couch in there in case we have guests.” And it was as simple as that! Brilliant!
Well, not quite so simple – but nearly. First we moved the queen size bed to the garage in pieces. Then I took stock and figured out what I would need to make this nearly bare room into an office and we headed out to the thrift stores. Yes, thrift stores. I ended up getting a new desk for $27 and a new lampshade for $1.50 to go with a hand-me-down lamp and shelf. I already had an old file cabinet and a shelving unit my uncle built with his bare hands a long, long time ago. The only thing I bought new were some storage boxes and a rolling cart of drawers. The storage boxes I got at Ross on clearance for a steal. I love a good deal. 
I moved everything in and got it setup over the space of a couple weekends.

Where the magic happens

It was nighttime when I took this pic, but I also have a wonderful view of my front yard. I have several times banged on the window when I caught my kids climbing on top of cars in our driveway or dodging cars in the street. They are boys. I don’t have a better explanation for it. They DO know better.  

See the storage boxes?
With the bed open

I’m so happy to say that I now have a room of my own. Shortly after moving into my new space I started this blog. Coincidence? I think not. Thank you for the inspiration, Ms. Woolf. Maybe when I have money I can write fiction, but for now you get me and my laptop composing the narrative of my days.

Posted on by Wise Sass · 2 Comments

Oh the pressure

So do you remember that scene in Pretty Woman where Vivian (Julia Roberts) and her roommate, Kit, are talking about how it’s possible to have the fairytale? Kit insists it’s possible and Viv says “Tell me one person it’s worked out for”, and Kit says, “What, you want me to name someone? You want like a name? Oh, god, the pressure . . . of a name. I got it! Cinderf&%#inrella!”

I have two points I want to make about that:

1. That’s how I feel trying to “birth” this blog – oh the pressure . . . of the words. What should I say? I feel compelled to start it though I have no clear purpose or any particular knowledge to impart. The plan for this blog is yet unplanned. I hope it will be my outlet. When I have something to say I can say it here. One day it will have pictures and the next it will have a poem, or a rant. I thought I might have a clear purpose, a theme, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I’m just a bit too random to adhere to a theme. Everyday will be different – a topic du jour, so to speak.

2. I think a lot of what I write about will be my life and all the trials and tribulations therein. My life as a mom, a wife, and just how, exactly, to be super woman. (I’ll let you know when I get that one figured out – should be happening any minute now). I think the most obvious theme if, in fact, there is a theme at all, is there is no one happy ending – there are LOTS of them – and we learn as we go. They aren’t all about being rescued (though some are, and for those I’m grateful) but some happy endings are just about an increased awareness, or perception, of a situation that allows us to ascend to the next chapter in our lives. Growing up? Yes, maybe. Growing in knowledge and experience? Definitely.

So – if you are up for it, come along with me and let’s figure out a few things, okay? 

Ciao!