Posted on by Wise Sass · 3 Comments

My warring dualities

I am a full-time working mom with a fairly demanding job. I work until 6:30-7 (or later) every night. Most nights when I get home I clean the kitchen and make dinner and help with homework if needed. Or, like last night, assist in the filling out, folding, stuffing, and stickering of Valentine’s. Then there’s the whole getting the kids ready for bed thing. The hubby freaks out if the kids’ room is messy at night so it has to be picked up. Every. Night. Then sometimes I’ll sit down at my desk and work even more.
This is my daily life. 
But some days, like today, I get to enjoy the other side of me that I don’t get to tap into very often during the working day. I got be a mom, just a mom, for a while this afternoon. It was wonderful. 
My little guy was diagnosed as High-Functioning Autistic as well as ADHD a couple years ago. It wasn’t a shock – we knew it was something. My 3rd grader is ADHD too; the hubby and most of his family are as well so I suppose it’s no surprise that the kids inherited that gene. Back to Jamie, my bubba – he’s really the cutest kid. Sweet and so loving. He’s my little cuddle-bug. He’s learning so much. Maybe we have always low-balled him because of the Autism, but when he does something well (that is learning level appropriate) we are just ecstatic. Maybe it’s because we’re scared he’s going to go backwards instead of forwards. Each time he reaches a milestone we are over the moon. 
He can seem normal. Sometimes he acts like any other 1st grader. But there are definitely situations we have to deal with more carefully than we would with our other son. Like when we know that his class will be doing something out of the ordinary we have to prepare him for it in advance. Talk it up to him several times and make him aware of everything that’s going to happen. Sometimes I think we forget to do that as much as we should. 
It really shouldn’t have been a surprise when he started being belligerent and difficult this morning. Right before leaving to go to school he got very upset because he didn’t like the way his hair looked and started insisting that it be parted the other way and beating his own head with the brush. I soothed him as best I could, and then I left to take the 3rd grader to school before going on to work. The hubby called 30 minutes later and said it took him 20 minutes to get Jamie calmed down and into his class (tardy, of course). I thought, oh boy, that does not bode well for the rest of the day.
So I called the school to find out when Jamie’s class party was going to be. Then I looked at my schedule and decided I could make it work. I left the office at 2:30 and, oh, I can’t tell you how liberating it was! (I swear I would be an awesome stay at home mom. I would, I really, really would.) Jamie was SO excited when I walked into class. I got to watch him interact with his friends and play games and he did it all so well! You wouldn’t have known he was different. My heart swelled.

When the party was over we picked up the 3rd grader and decided to get a Redbox family movie to watch on this lovely Friday night. As I was driving down the road at 4 pm with my kids chattering in the backseat I must say I was as happy as I have ever been. Oh, we have problems aplenty and I like working . . . but, really, none of that mattered at that moment. 

Yes, I would be a very good stay at home mom indeed.

Posted on by Wise Sass · 5 Comments

A Room of One’s Own

Virginia Woolf said:

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.

When we moved to our current house 5 years ago my boys were 2 & 3 years old. They shared a room, and still do, because I insisted that the other bedroom should be a guest room. I was convinced my family and friends from back home in California would come visit a lot. Well, my mom comes 2 or 3 times a year and occasionally our buddy Brittain stays so late he sleeps over. All in all not a lot of usage.

I have always had a workspace of my own, but my desk was tiny and it had been shuttled from room to room whenever I needed to make space for something else. First it was in the toy room/animal room/catch-all. Then a corner of the living room. Then our bedroom. I never had a space where I could really put my stuff out and let it just be. Then I got a docking station and laptop for work and sadly the contraption didn’t even fit on my tiny desk. Obviously something needed to change. 
Enter my husband. Sometimes he has the best ideas. As I was lamenting my lack of space he simply said, “why do we need a dedicated guest room? Let’s turn it into your office and just move the hide-a-bed couch in there in case we have guests.” And it was as simple as that! Brilliant!
Well, not quite so simple – but nearly. First we moved the queen size bed to the garage in pieces. Then I took stock and figured out what I would need to make this nearly bare room into an office and we headed out to the thrift stores. Yes, thrift stores. I ended up getting a new desk for $27 and a new lampshade for $1.50 to go with a hand-me-down lamp and shelf. I already had an old file cabinet and a shelving unit my uncle built with his bare hands a long, long time ago. The only thing I bought new were some storage boxes and a rolling cart of drawers. The storage boxes I got at Ross on clearance for a steal. I love a good deal. 
I moved everything in and got it setup over the space of a couple weekends.

Where the magic happens

It was nighttime when I took this pic, but I also have a wonderful view of my front yard. I have several times banged on the window when I caught my kids climbing on top of cars in our driveway or dodging cars in the street. They are boys. I don’t have a better explanation for it. They DO know better.  

See the storage boxes?
With the bed open

I’m so happy to say that I now have a room of my own. Shortly after moving into my new space I started this blog. Coincidence? I think not. Thank you for the inspiration, Ms. Woolf. Maybe when I have money I can write fiction, but for now you get me and my laptop composing the narrative of my days.

Posted on by Wise Sass

Cathy

I overslept this morning. It’s true, it happens. My alarm didn’t wake me up because I’m blessed with having a very curious 6 year old who likes to fiddle with things – like the volume knob on my clock radio. I prefer to think that he just knows when his mommy needs a little more sleep. 
But this morning, when I sleepily turned over and focused my eyes on the clock to see 7:54 am, I wasn’t thinking, “Oh, an extra hour of sleep – bless him!” I was thinking, “ACK!! I have a meeting in an hour!!” Jumped up, turned the shower on and did all those first thing in the morning things. As I was lathering up in the shower I kept thinking, “Ack! I hate being rushed!” Then it hit me – I’m SO Cathy this morning!! Remember Cathy? Then the situation just turned comical and I laughed! What’s the point of getting all irritated?
I showered, make-uped, and dressed in record time and at 8:35 walked into the kitchen. The hubby (bless him!) had jumped up when I did and gotten the kids up, dressed and they were breakfasting when I walked in. To my 6 year old bubba I said, “Did you turn the sound knob on mommy’s radio?” 
Here’s the best part, are you ready?
“I didn’t do it!! I think it was a thief. He broke in and he did it.” 
Yes, baby, it was a thief.
Posted on by Wise Sass · 2 Comments

Oh the pressure

So do you remember that scene in Pretty Woman where Vivian (Julia Roberts) and her roommate, Kit, are talking about how it’s possible to have the fairytale? Kit insists it’s possible and Viv says “Tell me one person it’s worked out for”, and Kit says, “What, you want me to name someone? You want like a name? Oh, god, the pressure . . . of a name. I got it! Cinderf&%#inrella!”

I have two points I want to make about that:

1. That’s how I feel trying to “birth” this blog – oh the pressure . . . of the words. What should I say? I feel compelled to start it though I have no clear purpose or any particular knowledge to impart. The plan for this blog is yet unplanned. I hope it will be my outlet. When I have something to say I can say it here. One day it will have pictures and the next it will have a poem, or a rant. I thought I might have a clear purpose, a theme, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I’m just a bit too random to adhere to a theme. Everyday will be different – a topic du jour, so to speak.

2. I think a lot of what I write about will be my life and all the trials and tribulations therein. My life as a mom, a wife, and just how, exactly, to be super woman. (I’ll let you know when I get that one figured out – should be happening any minute now). I think the most obvious theme if, in fact, there is a theme at all, is there is no one happy ending – there are LOTS of them – and we learn as we go. They aren’t all about being rescued (though some are, and for those I’m grateful) but some happy endings are just about an increased awareness, or perception, of a situation that allows us to ascend to the next chapter in our lives. Growing up? Yes, maybe. Growing in knowledge and experience? Definitely.

So – if you are up for it, come along with me and let’s figure out a few things, okay? 

Ciao!