Wise Sass

Posted on February 14, 2011August 28, 2011 by Wise Sass · 1 Comment

My guys

In honor of Valentine’s Day I’m sharing my guys with you. There’s only one who is really my honey, but the others all have their own places in my heart.

This is our good friend Britt, and the hubby. getting ready to enjoy a postprandial cigar. I made them a special Valentine’s dinner tonight – steak sandwiches, broccoli with cheese sauce, roasted garlic on bread with butter and beer. (I also gave them both an awesome Valentine’s gift so they should look extremely happy).

Feb 13, 2011

They are handsome, witty, smart-assed troublemakers who like to get together and smoke cigars and I love them dearly. (No, they don’t smoke in the house. They smoke those nasty things outside even when it’s 20 degrees). I’m married to the one on the right (and he’ll have his own post one of these days) but the one on the left has a special place in my heart too. He’s been part of our family for nearly 5 years now and I don’t know what we would do without him.

November 2006

He brings us gifts every time he comes over. He takes out the garbage, if it’s needed, splits wood, helps with dinner and, on occasion, he babysits. He lets my kids jump on him like he’s a trampoline for goodness sake. See?

Oh, by the way, ladies – he’s single.

Of course, my other two Valentine’s are my little guys. I heart them with every fiber of my being. I mean, how could I not? Just look at them! The two cutest cutie-pies in the world.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Posted on February 11, 2011August 27, 2011 by Wise Sass · 2 Comments

I’m in love . . . with Downton Abbey

A few weeks ago a co-worker, Allen, told me about Downton Abbey. It’s a new Masterpiece Classic miniseries on PBS. Allen works in Washington, D.C., and I only see him once or twice a year so I’ve never actually met his wife, but I know that we have something in common. This is how he knew I would like the series. You see, his wife and are both Janeites. What is a Janeite you say?

Jane·ite [ jáyn t ] (plural Jane·ites) noun

Definition:

devotee of Jane Austen: an expert on or admirer of the life and works of the English novelist, Jane Austen

You’re shocked, I know. I mean, if you have read any of my other posts then obviously you know I’m a Janeite.

When Allen told me how much his wife absolutely loves this series I definitely took heed of his advice. I knew I would forget so I sent myself a reminder email. Still, it was 3 weeks before I stumbled upon that email and then I finally watched the first of four 1 hour, 23 minute, episodes.

And I was hooked immediately. I love it! It’s so very Jane Austen (though off by about 100 years) in it’s comedy of manners. It’s wicked in a way you wouldn’t expect from a British period show. And it’s so well-made. The settings, the acting, oh, and the costumes! I love the costumes.

Try it. It’s available on PBS.org for a limited time: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/downtonabbey/index.html.

Here’s a sample with the lovely Maggie Smith, Elizabeth McGovern and Hugh Bonneville:

Posted on February 11, 2011August 27, 2011 by Wise Sass · 3 Comments

My warring dualities

I am a full-time working mom with a fairly demanding job. I work until 6:30-7 (or later) every night. Most nights when I get home I clean the kitchen and make dinner and help with homework if needed. Or, like last night, assist in the filling out, folding, stuffing, and stickering of Valentine’s. Then there’s the whole getting the kids ready for bed thing. The hubby freaks out if the kids’ room is messy at night so it has to be picked up. Every. Night. Then sometimes I’ll sit down at my desk and work even more.

This is my daily life.

But some days, like today, I get to enjoy the other side of me that I don’t get to tap into very often during the working day. I got be a mom, just a mom, for a while this afternoon. It was wonderful.

My little guy was diagnosed as High-Functioning Autistic as well as ADHD a couple years ago. It wasn’t a shock – we knew it was something. My 3rd grader is ADHD too; the hubby and most of his family are as well so I suppose it’s no surprise that the kids inherited that gene. Back to Jamie, my bubba – he’s really the cutest kid. Sweet and so loving. He’s my little cuddle-bug. He’s learning so much. Maybe we have always low-balled him because of the Autism, but when he does something well (that is learning level appropriate) we are just ecstatic. Maybe it’s because we’re scared he’s going to go backwards instead of forwards. Each time he reaches a milestone we are over the moon.

He can seem normal. Sometimes he acts like any other 1st grader. But there are definitely situations we have to deal with more carefully than we would with our other son. Like when we know that his class will be doing something out of the ordinary we have to prepare him for it in advance. Talk it up to him several times and make him aware of everything that’s going to happen. Sometimes I think we forget to do that as much as we should.

It really shouldn’t have been a surprise when he started being belligerent and difficult this morning. Right before leaving to go to school he got very upset because he didn’t like the way his hair looked and started insisting that it be parted the other way and beating his own head with the brush. I soothed him as best I could, and then I left to take the 3rd grader to school before going on to work. The hubby called 30 minutes later and said it took him 20 minutes to get Jamie calmed down and into his class (tardy, of course). I thought, oh boy, that does not bode well for the rest of the day.

So I called the school to find out when Jamie’s class party was going to be. Then I looked at my schedule and decided I could make it work. I left the office at 2:30 and, oh, I can’t tell you how liberating it was! (I swear I would be an awesome stay at home mom. I would, I really, really would.) Jamie was SO excited when I walked into class. I got to watch him interact with his friends and play games and he did it all so well! You wouldn’t have known he was different. My heart swelled.

When the party was over we picked up the 3rd grader and decided to get a Redbox family movie to watch on this lovely Friday night. As I was driving down the road at 4 pm with my kids chattering in the backseat I must say I was as happy as I have ever been. Oh, we have problems aplenty and I like working . . . but, really, none of that mattered at that moment.

Yes, I would be a very good stay at home mom indeed.

Posted on February 7, 2011August 28, 2011 by Wise Sass · 2 Comments

I am not an idiot

Really, I’m not. Some people even think I’m pretty smart. (When I whip their asses at Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble, specifically).

I do a pretty good job at work and I kinda know what I’m talking about most of the time. I can recite Shakespearean poetry from heart (no, not ALL of it – just enough). I know that the Democratic Republic of Congo used to be called Zaire, that there is a difference between their, there and they,’re, and I know all about the symbolism in Jan Van Eyck’s Arnolfini Wedding Portrait. That’s it, right here:

This is hanging in my living room

So here’s my confession. I HATE dealing with financial matters. I feel completely incapable of doing it. I think I should be doing so much to further our financial growth but I don’t know what to do or how to do it. My only consolation is it boggles my husband’s brain even more than it does mine. He’s the creative type, you see. So the job falls to me.

It’s okay, for the most part. I generally do a good job. In times when we are lean it’s usually due to circumstances and not some catastrophic planning on my part. I pay the bills monthly(ish) – as the money comes in from my job and the hubby’s freelance work (which is, by nature, somewhat sporadic). I understand the basic concept: have more come in than you have going out. We’re working on that.

I’m sure we could have made better decisions in the past. I know we could have. But we have a nice house – not new, but nice and good-sized – and we have cars made in the last 10 years. I don’t regret any of those purchases (though I do wish the housing market hadn’t plummeted three years after we bought our house).

My quandary is long-term planning. Making goals and sticking to them. Having willpower to look to the future and say, “no, I don’t want to make this purchase today because it will impact our ability to take a vacation in 2 years”. This is my struggle.

I will go without incidentals for myself quite easily; where I run into trouble is I too often rationalize things for my family. I want things for my kids. I want to see their enjoyment. I want to take them to Disneyland because I grew up going there and I feel guilty for moving them so far away.

We went to our CPA today. Our Taxman with a capital “T”. I love him. He makes me happy every year. In 4 weeks I will temporarily be financially stress-free and I will revel in it – probably too much – for a very brief period until I pay some stuff and buy some other needed stuff and then we’ll be back to status quo.

So tell me – are you the money person in your family? What do you do to make your financial goals and keep them?

Posted on February 4, 2011August 28, 2011 by Wise Sass · 5 Comments

A Room of One’s Own

Virginia Woolf said:

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.

When we moved to our current house 5 years ago my boys were 2 & 3 years old. They shared a room, and still do, because I insisted that the other bedroom should be a guest room. I was convinced my family and friends from back home in California would come visit a lot. Well, my mom comes 2 or 3 times a year and occasionally our buddy Brittain stays so late he sleeps over. All in all not a lot of usage.

I have always had a workspace of my own, but my desk was tiny and it had been shuttled from room to room whenever I needed to make space for something else. First it was in the toy room/animal room/catch-all. Then a corner of the living room. Then our bedroom. I never had a space where I could really put my stuff out and let it just be. Then I got a docking station and laptop for work and sadly the contraption didn’t even fit on my tiny desk. Obviously something needed to change.

Enter my husband. Sometimes he has the best ideas. As I was lamenting my lack of space he simply said, “why do we need a dedicated guest room? Let’s turn it into your office and just move the hide-a-bed couch in there in case we have guests.” And it was as simple as that! Brilliant!

Well, not quite so simple – but nearly. First we moved the queen size bed to the garage in pieces. Then I took stock and figured out what I would need to make this nearly bare room into an office and we headed out to the thrift stores. Yes, thrift stores. I ended up getting a new desk for $27 and a new lampshade for $1.50 to go with a hand-me-down lamp and shelf. I already had an old file cabinet and a shelving unit my uncle built with his bare hands a long, long time ago. The only thing I bought new were some storage boxes and a rolling cart of drawers. The storage boxes I got at Ross on clearance for a steal. I love a good deal.

I moved everything in and got it setup over the space of a couple weekends.

Where the magic happens

It was nighttime when I took this pic, but I also have a wonderful view of my front yard. I have several times banged on the window when I caught my kids climbing on top of cars in our driveway or dodging cars in the street. They are boys. I don’t have a better explanation for it. They DO know better.

See the storage boxes?

With the bed open

I’m so happy to say that I now have a room of my own. Shortly after moving into my new space I started this blog. Coincidence? I think not. Thank you for the inspiration, Ms. Woolf. Maybe when I have money I can write fiction, but for now you get me and my laptop composing the narrative of my days.

Posted on February 4, 2011August 27, 2011 by Wise Sass

Food & Drink

FOOD

I have been asked for this recipe several times lately so I thought I would just share it here. It’s super easy to make, and quick, but you probably don’t keep some of these ingredients on hand. At least I don’t! But it’s worth it.

I can’t take credit for this – I got it from my friend Jenni’s mom.

Mexican Chicken Corn Chowder

2 whole chicken breasts
1 onion (chopped)

2 garlic cloves (chopped)
1 Tbsp. of oil

Saute chicken, onion & garlic in oil until chicken is cooked through. (Do it in a large pot so you don’t have to dirty two pans!) Cube the chicken when cooked and put back in the pot.

Add:
2 cans creamed corn
2 cups half & half
2 cups monterey jack cheese, shredded
1 can diced green chiles
2 tsp. cumin (to taste)

Bring to a simmer and add:
A splash of hot sauce (to taste)
Chopped fresh cilantro (to taste)

If the soup seems thin it can be thickened with corn starch. We like to make it thick and then eat it with tortilla chips. Totally YUM.

DRINK (of the alcohol variety)

Now, I’m not a huge drinker. Really, 3 is usually my limit and I’m such a control-freak that I tend to always opt to be the designated driver. In the past I have never been one to try shots; I just wasn’t into drinking to get drunk – and what else is the purpose of a shot??

Well, our good friend Brittain introduced me to a shot that I love. It’s sweet and sour and I can drink them down almost like water. (Not really, but, almost). Try this. I make 2 cups of this at a time and keep it in the fridge. You know, for emergencies.

Chocolate Cake Shots

1/2 shot citrus vodka

1/2 shot Frangelico hazelnut liqueur

sugar-crusted lemon wedges

Mix equal parts vodka and Frangelico into a shot glass. Drink the shot, and follow it immediately by sucking on a sugar-coated lemon wedge.

Two of my favorite things. Enjoy!

Posted on January 15, 2011August 28, 2011 by Wise Sass · 11 Comments

My blogging inspiration (AKA I’m so jealous I could spit)

A few months ago I was cruising around Facebook being nosy by clicking into friend’s pages, looking at their friends, and so on (c’mon, you all do it), and I ran across a girl I knew of in high school. She’s now married to a guy my best friend dated in high school. (See how that Facebook cruise went?) Anyway, she’s a year older than me and I may have talked to her a couple times at school but likely not a lot. But I knew who she was. She was very pretty, had a gorgeous smile, and always seemed to have happiness inside. When I found myself looking at her Facebook pictures a few months ago, and then her blog, the happiness she had inside 18(ish) years ago was now magnified by infinity (and beyond).

I started reading her blog. It was funny, witty, and she wrote the things I wanted to say. She is crafty – like I wish I still was – but she does it properly; she learned how to knit and crochet and she freaking makes knit hats and purses from old sweaters and scarves. Anyway, I stalked her blog for a couple weeks. I thought, my goodness, this woman must be so completely happy. She has everything she wants. She is now married to the love of her life (the love just POURS out of their pictures), they had a baby, she has 3 other gorgeous children, she has a supportive family, she’s insanely talented and, as if that isn’t enough, in my blog reading I found out that when she’s not having babies she works as a hospice nurse.

So, obviously, I had to stop reading her blog. I mean, I had to. The feelings of inadequacy just rolled over me and I nearly sobbed. (I may have actually shed a tear or two). (Side note: why do we women always hold ourselves up to other women to gauge our worth? It is so counter-productive. Why do we always think someone else’s life is so much better than our little lives?)

Anyway, I went about 6 weeks without reading her blog but every once in a while I would think of it. I would say, hmmm, think I should go read it? And the insecure chick that lives in my brain would say, “Hell no! What are you thinking?” Do you see? The mere thought that her perfect life existed was enough; I didn’t even have to read her words to feel sorry for myself.

But, at the same time – I started this blog because of her. I thought if I could just be 1/10th as talented as she is that would be a real accomplishment. She’s doing it – she’s doing her passion and I’m not. I had a really hard think. Soul-searching. All I ever wanted to do was be a writer. I don’t think I’ll ever be published but the least I can do is write this itty-bitty blog about my life. And it’s because of her. I’m jealous and grateful all at the same time.

Then an odd thing happened. I went to her blog tonight for the first time in weeks and weeks and in her recent posts she distinctly said her life was not perfect. She admitted fears, real-life concerns about money, feelings of inadequacy because she’s decided to temporarily quit nursing to be a SAHM, and she admitted to feeling a little lost. Part of me wants to reassure her – to tell her the powerful influence she had on me. The other part of me is rejoicing a little. I can’t lie. She’s not perfect. She’s human. I still want to be just like her – but she’s REAL.

I wanted to send her a message to tell her what she did for me (to me) but I couldn’t figure out how so I’m doing this instead. Joni – I am in AWE of you. You have raised 3 gorgeous children, divorced and found the man you love, and then gave birth at home to a 10 lb baby. You had the balls to do what was so absolutely right for you (and your family) and quit your job. You pursue your life and you absolutely LIVE it. I am inspired by you.

I’ll close, naturally, with a Jane Austen quote on sisterhood:

But we must stem the tide of malice, and pour into the wounded bosoms of each other, the balm of sisterly consolation.

Edited to add a link to Joni’s blog: http://joni-ishouldwriteabook.blogspot.com/

Posted on December 31, 2010August 28, 2011 by Wise Sass

On being busy

Started before Christmas:

Lucille Ball said:

If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do.

But I think she MUST have been talking about women only. Not that I don’t appreciate men, because I do – I really, really do (especially that cleft between their hip and groin area – swoon) – but I know very few that are good multi-taskers. Now that we are 4 days away from Christmas this multi-tasking deficiency is painfully obvious.

Christmas is CRAZY. Super-duper, going nuts, spending money, shopping, wrapping, picture-taking, printing, Christmas card mailing, party-attending crazy.

Finished after Christmas:

See what I mean about being busy? I couldn’t even finish my blog about being busy! How ridiculous. Anyway, we got through Christmas fairly intact – though, to be honest, I totally crashed on day 4 of the festivities. It was after the last get together – the big one with the hubby’s family in which I made cupcakes, cookies, deviled eggs, candied yams and mashed potatoes and took it all over to the in-laws’ house for a 7 hour preparation, eating, gift-opening THING – that I came home and just nearly passed out. I laid on the sofa in my comfy clothes like a log. The next day was a work day and I started getting sick. The following day one of my lymph nodes was so swollen I couldn’t swallow without significant pain. I went to the doctor – which goes to show how freaked out I was (OMG! What if it’s cancer??) – and she said virus. That was two days ago and I’m definitely better today.

But that brings me to a very good point. My doctor lectured me because, she said, “I only see you when you’re sick! How about coming in for a physical?” Ugh, who has time, or inclination, for that? Seriously, I’m too busy . . . right? Well, the right answer is no, I’m NOT too busy to work on my health. I just don’t want to deal with it. It’s not a simple thing – zip in and out – because there’s the lab work first and the fasting with that, and then, inevitably, there is something more that needs to be done – like medicine to treat certain things or follow-up appointments and, perhaps the most dreaded, the conversation about a “healthy weight”. Well, yes, I know perfectly well what a healthy weight is and I know that I am not in that range. I really don’t need the lecture and the guilt that follows. I swear, the guilt will kill me one of these days. (Side note: one time Poohbear’s teacher asked me if I was Catholic because I had the guilt thing down pat). It’s so unfair. I actually eat fairly healthy; by that I mean that I’m not a fast food person. We cook good food from scratch here. We eat lots of veggies and get our protein. We eat good carbs. BUT, chocolate is my Achilles heel. I have a relationship with chocolate, and with all GOOD food. I want MORE.

Which would all be okay if I balanced my food with exercise. I don’t mind exercise when I do it; I actually feel really good afterward. I just can’t seem to do it much. I’m so, so tired at the end of the day, and there’s so much to do, I have trouble fitting it into my day. I want to relax and escape after a hard work day – not get my tennies on and get up on the elliptical. I already don’t get enough sleep and I’m decidely NOT a morning person.

Yes, yes, excuse central – I know. One of these days I will suck it up and do it. Hopefully soon. For my health. Plus – ugh – my 20 year class reunion is in less than 3 years. I will ONLY go if I’m under 140 lbs. *sigh*

To sign off, though, I will add something positive – when I went to the doctor it was Dec 28 and she said the last time I was there was the previous January. I actually weighed 3 lbs less on this visit, 3 days after Christmas, than I weighed a year ago in January. That’s something, right?

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year to all. May we ALL have a prosperous 2011!! (Oh please, oh please, oh please!!) Mwah!

Posted on December 10, 2010August 27, 2011 by Wise Sass

Photo Editing

I love to edit photos now. I take pics every chance I get and I play around with editing them through a tool I found online. I’m not really skilled but it’s fun and I like it. It’s a hobby, I guess. Here’s some pics I’ve edited:

What’s more fun than raking?

Beautiful boy

Fall in Boise

Leaf angels!


The fountain at sunset

Our house after (and during) a big snow

At the Madonna Inn

Up the Capitol steps