Posted on by Wise Sass · 5 Comments

The klutz with the butter

This post brought to you by Starbucks. Lots and lots of Starbucks – down my shirt, all over my pants, shoes and ankles but none, unfortunately, down my throat.

I’m traveling this week. Working at one of my company’s offices on the East Coast. I left my hotel this morning in khaki cropped pants (because it’s unseasonably warm right now), slip-on clogs, and a white top with a light floral pattern. I went to Starbucks for coffee and a bacon sandwich, and then drove on to my office just 2 blocks away. I got out of the car juggling my wallet, keys, phone, sandwich and coffee in one hand and was opening the back door of my rental car with the other when the wheels came off the wagon. Or, more accurately, the lid popped off the coffee and caused a mini  coffee explosion. Overreacting, I dropped the stupid cup so that a secondary explosion occurred at my feet.

Then I stood there in shock for about 30 seconds. Did that really just happen? Yes. Ugh.

So I did the only thing I could do – I hopped back in the car and took my sticky, wet, mocha-smelling self back to my hotel room and back to bed for the rest of the day.

Okay, all of that except the last part because, duh, the show must go on.

Here’s proof – the shirt part, at least:

Unflattering picture be damned. Proof. Lame-o.

But all that was just an aside to the real subject of this post. BUTTER. The BUTTER I made. I MADE IT. Myself. BUTTER.

I never really knew how butter was made. I mean, I remember seeing an old-fashioned butter churn when I was a kid (probably at some pioneer display or something) and I guess I just assumed there was some hugely mechanical, automated way to do it in mass quantities. Like a gigantic churn. And I’m sure there is and that’s how the major producers make it, package it, and sell it. But I DIDN’T know I could reproduce that step at home with my own handy-dandy Kitchen Aid mixer.

Note:  if you don’t have a stand mixer then I just recommend driving your happy butt down to the store and buying the butter there. There’s just no way you want to do this with a hand mixer. NO WAY, Jose.

First, get some whipping cream:

Dump it into a stand mixer bowl and start mixing on low. (The recipes I read recommended low, but I found that it was taking FOREVER to thicken (like over 10 minutes) so I upped it to medium. You may want to do that sooner than I did).

Then, before you know it, you’ll be at the whipped cream stage:

Keep it up!

Then it starts to get chunky and yellower:

That’s a good sign. Keep going.

Then, it starts to slosh – what?

Look! Almost butter-like.

At this point you will want to drain it and start trying to squeeze as much excess liquid out as you can.

The liquid is buttermilk! You can keep it and use it in another recipe or do what my husband did and just drink it. (That’s an ew thing for me, but I’m not a milk drinker at all so maybe that’s just me).

Then I threw it back in the mixer a bit to make sure there wasn’t any more excess liquid coming out and there wasn’t. I pulled the butter out and separated it into two containers. At this point you can add salt if you want salted butter, or you can add other stuff, or nothing at all. I chose to add honey to one container and salt, garlic, and herbs to the other. Then I mixed each up, put a lid on and tucked them in the fridge for later use. Voila! But you may want to shape the the butter, something I didn’t do, into a log or similar, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate it that way.

Super duper easy peasy. All told, it took about 30 minutes and very little effort. And guess what?

I TOTALLY JUST MADE BUTTER. That’s going on my resume:

Can you code?

No, but I can make butter – can you do that?  No? Boo-YAH.

Posted on by Wise Sass · 2 Comments

Stress, baby – it’s a killer

I had planned to post about books next (today or otherwise soon-ish). There’s a books post coming – because I really do need some ideas for what to read next – but before I could write that post I got sick and I’m pretty sure the major culprit is stress.

I’m not a doctor or a nurse, but I can tell you that I firmly believe that overall emotional health can affect physical health. Obviously, when someone is stressed they can do things that negatively affect their health – binge eating, drinking, drugs, and other unhealthy decisions. But I also think stress can just slowly eat away at your overall health like a gigantic, parasitic leech.

Nom nom nom = die die die.

According to the American Psychological Association’s “Stress in America” report (2010) the common effects of stress are:

Body: headache, muscle tension or pain, chest pain, fatigue, change in sex drive, stomach upset, sleep problems.

Mood: anxiety, restlessness, lack of motivation or focus, irritability or anger, sadness or depression.

Behavior: Overeating or undereating, angry outbursts, drug or alcohol abuse, tobacco use, social withdrawal.

So let me see here – headache: check, muscle tension or pain: check, fatigue: check, stomach upset: check, anxiety: check, lack of motivation: check, irritability, sadness, anger: check, check, check.

Under behavior I would say social withdrawal simply because I’ve been less than social lately- less FB, less Twitter, less blog, and less social, in-person chitchat – but that could be due to time constraints more than anything. Or not. What do I know?

So what is the freaking dealio here?

Well, in a word, WORK. The entire month of September I worked some crazy long hours due to a staffing shortage (freaking people and their honeymoons) and, at the same time, an increase in workload. Then I was given even more work. Then I went on a short vacation last week in an effort to take a FREAKING BREAK but my first day back I worked a 12 hour day because I’m so behind from the 2 DAYS I took off. So how does that help? NOT AT ALL.

Now I could really go into quite the violent rant right now about my job, but this isn’t the place for it and if I did it could potentially get me fired (hmmm) so I won’t do that. Suffice it to say – I’m perpetually short-staffed and I do the job of about 3 different positions so I’m always pulled in 15 different directions at one time.

Monday – first day back from vacation and a 12 hour work day. Seriously didn’t get up from my desk to pee and grab some lunch until 3 pm.  Ridiculous. Came home at 8 pm, made dinner, promptly developed a headache – a headache that has not abated since Monday night.

Tuesday – headache all day. General feeling of malaise. Slammed at work, but determined to not work a 12 hour day again so I worked a typical day – 9-6. Felt marginally better at home when I was making dinner, but after dinner I sad down for bit and began to feel an overall ick. A little achy and shaky but not full-on FLU ick. WTF?

Wednesday morning – woke up with the headache, still have the ick. Stayed home with the intention of working just a little and then resting but, instead, I can’t catch a break and I’ve been working ALL DAMN DAY. At least I’m in my yoga pants, yo. (On a conference call as I type this).

Allergies are an issue, for sure. But this is MORE, and I’m pretty sure it’s stress.

So what’s the answer? I don’t know, but I think working more towards a healthy work/life balance is the best first step. I try to do this a lot but sometimes I execute it better than others. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a lot of control over it.

I can’t slack off on my job otherwise I’ll lose it. I can’t request to do the “mommy schedule” without it negatively impacting perception of my work ethic/goals. (I know this. Just trust me on this one. LAME.)

I’m the primary breadwinner at my house (my husband works freelance and is the primary at-home parent) but I have to be mommy too. I sacrifice going on the field trips, being room mom, working on most of the homework, etc., but I try to be there for them when they need me and I take time off as needed. But as my work demands it I’m there for them LESS than I wish I could be. Yesterday my little dude called me when he got home from school and asked if I was going to work late again. I hate that.

Guilt and stress? Check.

My husband put his arms around me this morning and said, “I just want you to be healthy.” Me too, dear, me too.

Does it come down to working less and possibly sacrificing the security of my job at the same time?  Is there a happy medium?  Sometimes I think I find it and then it all goes woefully wrong.

I’m trying to get my work/life balance figured out so that I don’t have more health issues. I’ve been putting off going to the doc knowing that I’ll have to face that reality of a few things I need to change or start on some meds. I started working-out this summer to get healthier – but with the increase in work that has fallen by the wayside as well.

Sometimes the idea of working on my health just seems like so much WORK and it’s easier to just push it to the back of my mind. Please tell me I’m not alone in this feeling.

The whirlwind of life at it’s finest.

So do you all have any bright insight into how to manage life and stress more effectively? I would love to hear it. What do you do to keep yourself healthy? How do you deal with stress?

Yours,

Stef

Posted on by Wise Sass · 1 Comment

The Daily Dichotomy

It’s a very strange, modern world we live in these days.

I was scrolling through my Twitter timeline early this morning and, as one does, absentmindedly noted the prevailing themes. They were:

  • Steve Jobs death & his legacy.
  • Politics – Obama’s pending press conference focused on the jobs bill (employment – not to be confused with Steve Jobs).
  • A little boy name Harry who has an inoperable brain tumor and is fighting for his life.  http://www.helpharryhelpothers.com/ What an angel.
  • Kim Kardashian’s wedding cake

Let me ask you – which one of these things do not belong?

I am all for reading some inspiring and light-hearted news on occasion to brighten my day, or my otherwise dreary news feed – but, honestly, who really gives a rat’s ass about Kim Kardashian’s wedding cake? That family is the pinnacle of all that is wrong in this overly materialistic and value-based-on-appearance society that we seem to find ourselves living in these days.

Some days I ignore it – that odd dichotomy we modern people tend to effortlessly follow, balancing the truly frivolous with the overwhelmingly important.

Other days, like today, the blatant frivolity – in the presence of pain and suffering and so much unmet need – is a slap in the face.

The worst things in my life today are:

1. My kids are out of school and I’m not home with them. I’m not making their meals, baking something special and pulling out the Fall/Halloween decor for them.

2. It’s dress-day numero dos at work this week and I’m wearing Spanx. I just can’t wait for the bathroom gymnastics THAT will entail.

3. There’s a little boy named Harry in the UK fighting for his life and his momma is sitting there begging for a miracle.

The best things in my life today are:

1. My husband is home with my children today. Even if I can’t be there, HE can be. I’m so thankful for that.

2. My home, and all that is in it. It has rained for the past 24 hours but I woke up warm and dry in my soft bed, my down comforter and my personal space heater, my husband, beside me. I had an early meeting from home (using my iPhone – thank you, Steve Jobs). Then I crawled back into my warm bed, in my warm home, with my husband and my two snuggle-bunnies. My two happy, healthy sons – bounding with the energy and excitement of a 4 day weekend and planning what fun they will have with their days.

3. There’s a little boy named Harry who decided to raise money for brain tumor research when he realized how sick he was and when he met another boy like him. He decided he wasn’t going to die without doing something first. Something that will help others. He makes my world a better place.

Kim Kardashian’s wedding cake can suck it.

Posted on by Wise Sass · 7 Comments

I’m an escape artist

I don’t know about you, but I find life to be quite overwhelming at times. Like so overwhelming I just want to bury my head in the sand until it all goes away. Or go to sleep. But I can’t do either of those things long-term so I cope by using various methods of escape.

TV

Shows like the Bachelor/ette/pad are perfect for this. Or other shows where I totally love the characters and storylines – like Bones. Because at the end of the day I’ve had it. No more thinking. No more problems. No more reasoning required. Just entertain me, please.

But I don’t watch a ton of TV. It’s just not our habit to sit for hours and hours every day or watch all the new shows that come on every season. I could do that – don’t get me wrong – but it screws up our life too much. Prime-time tv starts at 7 PM here and usually I’m just getting home from work then and cleaning the kitchen or making dinner. So we Tivo the shows we love and watch them later. At our leisure. When I’m ready for my escape.

BUT – there are 4 of us in this house and really only one tv that we use most of the time. So occasionally the boys (including my husband) want to watch Phineas & Ferb or some other cartoonish show or movie that I’m not down with watching. So I go barricade myself in my woman-cave (as my hubby calls it) and get online.

The Internets

Now, obviously I have a lot of legitimate reasons to be online. I work online all day long. That’s my business. But I also get all my news online, I shop online, and it’s my first choice for communication these days. (And my iPhone feeds this habit swimmingly).

But, man, what a time suck! I love getting caught up on blogs that I’ve been ignoring, but I can literally sit there for HOURS and not get up-to-date on my Twitter feed, my blog reading and Facebook stuff. Not to mention getting around to writing something on my OWN blog. (oh hai!).

iPhone, baby

Speaking of my iPhone it has got to rank pretty high here. I use it so often and for so many different reasons that it’s hard to justify calling it an escape but it totally is – at certain times. Last night, for example, we decided to all watch the Johnny Depp Alice in Wonderland movie. We’ve seen it before – like 3 times – so there was nothing NEW to see. So I pulled out my phone and was following my Twitter feed and responding to a few things. The hubby was all ‘what are you doing’ and ‘it would be nice if you watched a movie with us.’ *SIGH* So, yeah, I get busted when I do that. But, HELLO, if I only have a marginal interest in the show then my brain is only engaged about 15%. What do I do with the rest?? (I’d like to point out that he fell asleep 10 minutes later and I actually saw more of the movie than he did. Hmphf.)

Books

When I’ve had my fill of technology I rely on my old-standby – a bath & a book. Actually, to be honest, if I’m reading a really good book it often takes precedence over all my other escape routes. Good books do that. I neglect everything in the sweet storylines and wonderfully slow-building anticipation of a good, must-read book. I haven’t felt that I-can’t-put-this-down-until-I-know-what-happens kind of pull in a while though – probably not since I read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series. (So, any good recommendations?)

Working-out

Okay, all of that to say – I’m trying to change my escapist tendencies. Oh, I’m not silly enough to think that I’ll stop procrastinating and dodging life a bit – I’ll totally still do that as long as life is hard (and it is, like, too hard) – but I’m trying to channel my escapes into something more productive. Something that will make my life better rather than perpetuate the cycle.

I started doing this in July when I began working-out regularly. I was doing really well. It pains me to admit this, but I fell off the wagon a bit. I went on a business trip a few weeks ago and then I wasn’t feeling too hot for a few days the next week and – BOOM – momentum and motivation down the tubes.

BUT that’s about to change. I just registered for my first 5k walk. It’s 2 weeks from today (coincidentally, or not, the day I turn 36). There’s another I’m going to do in mid-October as well. I’m determined to make my escapism work for ME.

By the way, 36 is going to ROCK. I’m sure of it.

So what are your escapist habits? And are they good or bad or somewhere in between? Did you overcome them? And where do you find motivation?? Help me. HELP ME. I need all the commiseration, encouragement and we’re-in-it-togetherness that I can possibly get right now.

Now I’m off to make Mexican 5 layer dip and contemplate doing 3 miles tonight tomorrow.

Posted on by Wise Sass · 1 Comment

What kind of week has it been?

Well, my friends, it has been quite a WEEK. I tried to slack-off, I really did. Despite my best efforts I actually earned my pay this week. In fact, I may have kicked some well-needed booty too. (I’m being cheeky – just go with it).

No, but really, work is killing me. Like, to death. I have worked 10-12 hour days entirely too much this week. Early meetings with the Brits and late evenings playing catch up. I don’t typically talk about work here – and I’m not going to start now – but because of the horrendous week I seriously need a pick me up and OH MY GAWD thank goodness it’s Friday. Friday before a 3-day weekend no less – bonus!

So let’s look at some of the good stuff that has happened over the past 6(ish) days:

On Saturday we got our 7 year old a big boy bike and, oh my goodness, he’s actually a BIG BOY now. But he’s my baby too. Tear. He and his brother spent the weekend riding bikes together. Look at them on bikes together. Just LOOK. It was just YESTERDAY when they were babies, right?

On Sunday I went crazy and got on a cooking trend that still hasn’t let up. Every day this week I’ve made something new. It’s my goal to eventually get the recipes up here, and the pictorials as well – for the ones I actually did pictorials on – but I can’t guarantee how quickly that will happen. In the meantime here’s a few things I made:

Because I knew I had a heinous week ahead at work and with my little one starting school this week I decided to make breakfast burritos in advance.

Here’s the ingredients:

And apparently I made 12. Aren’t these pretty? 45 seconds in the microwave and I have a portable, protein-rich breakfast meal. Yum.

Monday night I made fried rice for the first time. No pictures. I was in the zone. It turned out well. I said YUM and so did the hubby.

Tuesday I made pesto for the first time ever. Seriously! And with basil from my own garden. It was so, so good. And then I cooked some chicken, baked some pizza dough and threw it all together with zucchini and tomato for a yummylicious pizza. Like whoa.

And I’ve been obsessed with fruit this week. Pineapples and strawberries are manna straight from heaven. (I didn’t really cook anything here, except some whipped cream. I just had to include the picture because of the YUM factor).

It’s a good thing I’ve munched on so much fruit because tonight I decided to make sweet potato tempura. Deep fried (oh the horror) with a Greek yogurt and garlic dip. I ate it too quickly to take pictures. Nom nom.

I’ve also managed to work-out a couple times this week so far. Last night I really wanted dessert but I put my work-out clothes on and GOT ON THE ELLIPTICAL INSTEAD. Gasp. I can hardly believe it myself. I must have been a rainbow sherbetty blur on the elliptical in my pink yoga pants, orange tank and teal blue sports bra. Stylish, I am. (Thank goodness my husband loves me).

But do you want to know the best thing I did this week? The very best?

I was a mom to my boys. I squeezed them and kissed them and tucked them in at night. I sang a lullaby to them every night before bed. I got them up in the morning and picked out their clothes and helped them get ready for school. I fed them. I cuddled them. I loved them.

I made this one giggle and smile naturally. He doesn’t do that much; he’s usually all about the cheesy fake smile when the camera comes out.

And I got this one off on his first day of 2nd grade at a new school. I was so nervous, and we had some hitches from, as my mother-in-law put it, the “ineptitude of the adults around him” (not meaning us, but school & district officials) and he, my little dude, just breezed through and he’s adjusting wonderfully.

And that, my friends, has been my week. I guess it was pretty awesome after all.

Posted on by Wise Sass · 2 Comments

Thankful Thursday: I’m thankful for PTO

PTO?? Paid Time OFF. Thank heaven, Allah, Gaia, the sun, and Maude (whoever she is) for paid time off. Time off? And my bills still get paid? Awesome. 
What makes PTO so awesome? Let’s see:
Because of PTO, on a Thursday, I slept in until 7:45 this morning.
Because of PTO I get to stay home with my little guy on his first 2 days of summer break.
Because of PTO I have a couple extra days to think through some work stuff that’s got me all discombobulated.
Because of PTO I sat down and played the new Lego Pirates of the Caribbean video game with my son this afternoon. And I might go take a soak in a bath. On a Thursday afternoon. All because of PTO. 
Because of PTO, on a Thursday afternoon, I’m writing a blog post and watching my boy ride his bike outside my office window. 
What is that saying? You have to relax to reload? I’m going to relax. Today, tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday.

Off to take my bubble bath now. Thank you, PTO, thankyouveryveryverymuch.

Posted on by Wise Sass

Slacky McSlackerton here

Hi, it’s me. Remember me? I used to try to post a couple times a week but lately not so much and I feel badly about it. There is life happening here, you see. And life takes precedence over blogging. It must otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to blog about, right? 
It’s after midnight on a school/work night and I’m going to have to make this brief. And full of pics. Instagram, to be more specific. Because I can’t find my real camera again. For reals. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME. *sigh* Moving on. 
So these things have been happening:
We had a mini-twister hit our backyard. It was the weirdest thing. Knocked one tree down, and lifted and twisted a small tree nearly off its stump. And killed a duck. Sad. So this is the big tree that fell:
It leaned like that for a week before we got a tree service out to chop it down. For mucho moolah, might I add. Grr. But they left the rounds for us so we can use them as firewood next year. Can I just say that’s some pretty dang expensive firewood?
Since the weather has finally started to get Spring/Summer-like we’ve also been doing a lot of work in the yard. We’ve planted a few plants and have just been cleaning up some of the beds. I love that my kids get involved now so much more than they used to. I took this 2 days ago and the light was just perfect (you can see our oldest sweeping on the right):
We’ve also had a lot of this going on:
But this Saturday was the first time he actually made it home during a game so it was monumental. He has batted last in his previous two games, but on yesterday’s game he batted first. He’s doing great and getting better each game/practice we have:
I love that pic. Great light. But, because of that light I developed a sunburn. Unexpected and weird. I was wearing a cap and v-neck t-shirt so I have half a face sunburn and v-shaped redness on my chest. Weird. (I won’t torture you with that pic.)
After that game was over yesterday the rest of the weekend was about getting ready for my sister’s visit. My (step)sister from Australia, to be more specific.
She’s awesome. I first met her in ’98 and I’ve seen her maybe 2 or 3 times since then. The funny thing is, she went to my high school 5 years ahead of me but I never knew her. I didn’t meet her until after her mom & my dad had been together for quite some time because she had moved to Australia. She met an Aussie in SLO in the early 90’s and followed him back to AU and stayed. I like her a lot and we get along great. I wish I had known her a long time ago. Not that I wish my parents had split earlier than they did, but it would have been cool to have an older sister like her. She has a pretty awesome husband and two kids as well. Every time the kids speak I think they are going to sound like Americans and then they sound totally Australian and it’s too freakin’ cute.
So, interesting side note, my sister worked at the Australia Zoo with The Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, and his wife, Terri. Terri is an American – she’s from Oregon – and she and my sister became friends. My sister has always been an animal NUT and the Zoo was an ideal place for her to work. Don’t believe me? BAM!:
That’s my sister feeding Harriet – a 166 year old tortoise.
So the cool thing about their visit tonight is that our husbands never met before and we hadn’t met their son (though my sister and her daughter were here a couple years ago). I was excited.

I got up Sunday morning and did a few things in the yard and then started the food prep for 10 of us. We were going to BBQ, but my husband has had performances (he’s an actor) both afternoons this weekend so a lot of the prep was left in my hands and it was a LOT of freakin’ work. I started the food prep about noon and didn’t finish until 4 pm. At which point I still needed to clean the house and shower before they got here at 6:30. I started to PANIC. Then I died. No, not really. Just felt like I might.

Food prep consisted of marinating both chicken & beef for kebabs, cutting up and marinating all the vegetables, making a greek spinach, feta & pasta salad with a homemade dressing, making a fruit salad and strawberry cheese fruit dip, and making cookies. 4 flippin’ hours, people, with nary a break – except to make lunch for the kids and occasionally play referee to their bickering:
But, thankfully, it all turned out lovely and oh so yummy:
And my boys got to play with their Australian boy cousin for the first time – as only boys do:
Once the wrestling stopped we got the older girl cousin to sit down with the stinky boys and we clicked a few pics of them:
Love it! Love them. Great night with fun people. Now I’m utterly exhausted and apparently I have to go to work tomorrow. Really? Because I feel like I’ve been working all bloody weekend. I guess it’s not the same. 
Off to la-la-land for me. G’day, mate!
Posted on by Wise Sass · 3 Comments

What in the H – E – double hockey sticks is wrong with me??

I can’t get any freakin’ work done! I don’t wanna. 
I don’t wanna pay the bills.
I don’t wanna work on the stinkin’ IEP paperwork. Seriously, kill.me.now. 
I don’t wanna wash the dishes or fold the laundry.
I don’t wanna do my work work. Even when I’m at work. Cuz, you know, I’m kinda over this whole working for living thing. I wanna be home with my babies – see. (Who aren’t babies, but they’re MY babies so, whatever).
I wanna write. I wanna be creative. I wanna bake stuff. 
I wanna read blogs and play on Twitter all day and marvel at all the awesome women out there. Can’t I get paid (an exorbitant amount) to do that? Why not?
It’s 8 pm – do you think the kids have noticed they haven’t had dinner yet? I don’t hear yelling, screaming, or painful starvation moans. In any case, I need to get my freakin’ arse off the internets and do something productive. 
SO THERE. 
BYE. 
(I’ll be back – don’t worry. I knew you were worrried). 

P.S. I CAN say hell. See? Hell. But H – E – double hockey sticks is more fun, don’t you agree?

Posted on by Wise Sass · 4 Comments

The best you that you can be

Every day when I drop my oldest at school I tell him, “Remember, be the best Poohbear you can be today, ok?”

To his credit he doesn’t sigh or roll his eyes (maybe 8 (almost 9) is too young for that), but he says, “Okay Mom! Love you!” and bounds out of the car with nary another thought for me or the message I’m trying to impart.

As I drive away, I often think about all the good things I want for him (to be honest, I often think of Starbucks and how conveniently located it is to his school as well).

What does that mean – be the best you that you can be? Let’s think about that for a minute.

Does it mean to be kind, understanding and attentive to others? Yes, obviously.

Does it mean to listen and learn and be present (in all senses of the word) to what happens during the course of the day? Yes, absolutely.

That’s what I want for him – my clever, cute, quirky son.

If I turn that around and put the focus on myself – what does that mean for me? My expectations for myself extend far beyond the expectations I have for my son.

Am I being the best Stef – mom, wife, woman – that I can be? The answer is a resounding NO.

These are the steps I think I need to take to get there. Bear in mind this list may be revised. Often.

  1. Health. I need to work on my health. I don’t know if I am brave enough to go into more detail than that, here – yet – but I need the strength, the confidence, the determination, support and encouragement to do it. Please. I’m starting already – baby steps.
  2. Outlook. Positivity. Glass half full-ness. Looking on the bright side. Finding the silver lining. Because, when it comes down to it, does bitching about something help? At all? The negativity weighs me down and I’m not having it anymore. Dunzo.
  3. Self-awareness and positive personal growth. Focusing on the me-ness. Really knowing who I am – what makes me tick, sets me off, calms me down, etc. What I excel at and what I suck at. Then embracing the me-ness and the stuff I love about me. This blog is going a long way towards that goal.
  4. Love. Give it all, to everyone, in abundant boundless bundles. To my family, to my friends, to strangers. I don’t know anything, any situation, any problem – ANYTHING – that isn’t improved with a little love and a big, open heart.

So that’s it. For now. That’s my challenge to myself.

Tomorrow, when you check your face in the mirror – at home, driving to work, or in a passing car window reflection – just pause for a second and ask yourself, “Am I being the best me that I can be?” I hope the answer is yes; if not, make your own list and get on with it, sister!

Posted on by Wise Sass · 2 Comments

I want to be alone

Sometimes. It’s nice. And now I know I have a good reason for it.
I follow The Frisky on Facebook (warning: some of their posts can be R-rated) and today they posted about the power of being ALONE. I read the post today and I was like, yeah, right on!! This just feeds everything I’ve been saying for months – a room of one’s own, time to think, time to focus and be introspective. This is all so important for our mental well-being – and now there’s a study backing up that theory. (Not that it was my theory – just the natural progression of my personal evolution). 
In an effort to reduce all this clicking, here’s the full text of that post:

When I was 13, I started locking myself in my lair and writing angsty poetry, which caused people (especially my parents) to assume that I was a lonely, depressed, misanthropic hermit. As it turns out, I was spending some very necessary and healthy time alone. A new study at Harvard University found that spending time alone is crucial for us to have fully-developed personalities. Sufficient quality time with numero uno has been linked to improved focus, memory, creativity, mood, and even better social skills when we finally emerge from our caves.

Why? Because other people take up a lot of space in our minds. Not only that, but they cloud our judgement. Being alone helps us engage in the process of high-level reflection and introspection. It helps us figure out what we really think about stuff. Double the need for solitude if you are highly creative, a prophet like Jesus, or a genius like Beethoven (or fancy yourself a writer). Anyone? Anyone?

Anyhow, I’m sold. Always have been. So what’s the problem? We have cultural stigma about solitude. A study done a few years back at the University of Massachusetts found that people actually feel good, more often than not, when they’re alone. But somehow, somewhere, solitude and loneliness became synonymous. Especially for teens who researchers found tend to sequester themselves when they feel crappy but emerge from isolation feeling slightly less crappy. Yeah, adolescence is tough. I guess that explains why my mom was always knocking on my door telling me to come out. If only I could have said to her, “I am forming my personality through meta-cognition” instead of shouting, “Go away!” and turning up Simon and Garfunkel’s “I Am A Rock.”

The post was inspired by an article in the Boston Globe, here. Warning – it’s long. Check out this quote from the article: 

Solitude has long been linked with creativity, spirituality, and intellectual might. The leaders of the world’s great religions — Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses — all had crucial revelations during periods of solitude. The poet James Russell Lowell identified solitude as “needful to the imagination;” in the 1988 book “Solitude: A Return to the Self,” the British psychiatrist Anthony Storr invoked Beethoven, Kafka, and Newton as examples of solitary genius.

And there’s this little gem as well:

Teenagers, especially, whose personalities have not yet fully formed, have been shown to benefit from time spent apart from others, in part because it allows for a kind of introspection — and freedom from self-consciousness — that strengthens their sense of identity.

Hell yeah! I’m behind this 100%! I’m no expert, but I can only imagine that teenage minds are still forming the abilities to inductively and deductively reason. The more opportunity they get to exercise their minds naturally can only be a good thing, IMHO.